For those who know me very very well (hmm perhaps just Bean then) this will seem like a very Anna post. However to the rest of you it may seem a little odd, a touch strange or perhaps actually spot on?
This year. Well I don't have a lovely countdown of the months like others. This year has been not great, not good, not even really fine. I was hoping to give you a rundown of my epic holidays but then realised it might be a tad dull. Shall I have a go anyway?
Big Scary Meeting - happened and was good. Hope abounds.
Bean is silly and sits in room with no phone signal - I have to wait outside for 90 mins.
"We" (ie Bean) drive to Durham - we get drunk with 2 brother watching Star Wars on video.
More drinking with poker - Bean wins all the money after 10 hands. He does weird poker voodoo.
We watch Die Hard and turn every happening into something Christmassy - thus we drink.
The nephews arrive with their illnesses - we avoid illness.
People go to midnight mass - I am a little tipsy and write long emails to people I care about - reading them back a few days later reminds me that I should not drink and type. Oh I agree with the sentiment but oh gosh some of the emails were cripplingly embarrassing!
It's Christmas - I cry a little because everyone is happy and I am mourning the loss of my happiness. Bean buys me lovely presents and I cry more because he is too nice.
Boxing Day brings illness to the Bean household.
Because of all the illness the lovely Bean has to drive his big brother, Grumpole, to the RAF base almost 5 hours away so he can go to Afghanistan tomorrow.
Grumpole is now in Afghanistan - do we listen more to news from there or not?
We go to the outside - it is windy. This should serve as a reminder not to wear a cape when it is windy because said cape will fly over one's head and impede vision when trying to get into a car and thus you will bang your head and think you have given yourself a extradural haematoma.
I get back to the Bean home and start shivering - this is a bad sign.
I get into bed and do not leave for 2 days.
On day 9, we travel home and get back into another bed.
On day 10, today, I should have been going to an exciting place with Bean and lovely people but I can barely hold my head up without support so I will miss the fun times. (Will you have fun times for me?)
Yet there is hope. Life hurts right now but there is a little light at the end of the tunnel. I have my new mantra.
Whilst watching the video doesn't make me giggle insanely like it used to - thinking about the video really does. Indeed even whilst in my confused stupor on my travels yesterday the rain and cars made me think of said bus and giggle muchly.
What I think I'm trying to say (albeit in a confused and verbose way) is that I need to be more forceful next year. I need to strive for more. I will be happier and more fulfilled. There will be a new website which you will love and tell everyone you know about and there will be joy.
In other words, I, anna and the ring, resolve to,
"Be The Bus"
So until next year - and there may a little wait until there are new posts (but there are many awesome posts in the past) - take care of yourselves and each other. I miss you rather too much but I will be back soon with many words and hope.
Next year will be better.
All my love, because you make me want to love,