I've spoken about my journey to my wedding ring in the past.
I wear my Mamgu's (my Welsh grandmother) wedding ring as my own. I adore that I see a connection to my past every day. If anything I cherish that more than the actual significance of it being a wedding band. I most certainly do not need a ring to tell me I am married.
There is oft talk about men who choose not to wear a wedding ring. Indeed there were certain mumbles when Prince William chose not to wear a ring. I never expected Bean to wear a ring. If anything it would have saved us some money if he had chosen not to. I thought it would be nice but as my father has never worn a wedding ring I never assumed Bean would. Yet Bean was the opposite, his father chose to wear a wedding band, as his father did before him. Bean comes from a farming family, men who worked with their hands. The perfect/usual excuse for not wearing a wedding ring.
However, a certain single friend finds it relatively strange that our friend's husband does not wear a ring. She uses the line that she likes to know a man is attached when she speaks to him at the bar. Whilst I agree that married men should not appear available I am sure that Bean has chatted to girls at bars. I know he's chatted to girls before he was married and it is possible for a man to explain he is attached. Is a wedding ring a magical chastity belt? Of course it isn't. People don't automatically not cheat if they are married.
The more I look into a man wearing a wedding ring the more it appears to be only a cynical marketing ploy. The more people who wear wedding rings the more money we can earn. 100% increase in turnover. Boom! I'm not saying that men don't want to wear rings or that men that do not want to to wear them are bad cheaters. We are all different. I do rather love seeing Bean idly toy with his wedding ring but would I think he cared about me less if he did not wear one? Of course not, marriage cannot be summed up by a "bestowal of earnest money." So should you be worried if your intended refuses to wear a ring? I guess it depends in the person you are about to marry. Trust is not found in a band of gold. If you do not trust them now. You will never trust them.
Yet how about those woman who do not wish to wear a wedding ring? Is this a feminist issue? My grandmamma always refused to change her name (when married) to the feminine Polish ending and has most of her mail sent to Mr BigLongPolishName. So I very much want to be a feminist because of the very strong female influences in my life. However I find the subject of feminism difficult because of the man hatred. (Another post for another time!)
I love to wear my wedding ring but as I've said before I like it more for the family history than proving I have a relationship with my husband. However should I have always assumed I was going to wear a wedding ring? Should woman who choose not to, be cast out as lepers? Is it a sign that I wish to bear? Is it anyone else's business that I am a married woman? I am perfectly capable of talking to men and woman without jumping their bones.
I love my rings but there one more than one occasion I have felt embarassed by such an obvious display of my marital status. It appears boastful, that I am happy and you without your ring cannot possibly be as happy. Obviously this is a ridiculous conclusion.
What does a wedding ring mean to you? Do you need one? Do you need your intended to wear one?