Monday, 19 September 2011

how to open up?

I love this little wedding blog.

I love being open and honest. I love that it inspires you to email to talk about your problems. You know I may not have the answers but it sure does help to talk.

However I still have a little niggle. The fact that none of my pre-blog friends (save one lovely Hunter and his Lady - thank you alcohol) have any knowledge of these pages.

I feel as if I am lying to them. I cannot really talk about my evenings out or why I was out playing with a make-up artist on friday. (Thank you Ana and more on that very soon!)

I'm not saying they would want to read about my exploits. I am unsure they want to hear about the minutiae. I very much worry that you have no desire to hear about the minutiae. Yet it would not be nice to not fear mentioning Twitter or Pinterest. Today I am very close to admitting to one of my friends that I write a blog. I am sure I don't need to explain to those who are internet savvy that some friends are not so much in love with the intewebs. I'm pretty sure they will think I be weird and it may somewhat confirm their view of my antisocialness. Yes, I'm a geek but an increasingly social introvert.. Although I do fear that the lady in question already knows. Do you - my lovely Mouse?

So should I tell? I really do not know. I want to be open and honest. I loved the anonymity that this blog provided in the early days but I am kidding myself that I am still anonymous.

Indeed in a few short months I will be starting a new website and in need of all the help I can get for the promotion of said words.

Have you started anonymously and then "come out" to your friends? I would very much love to hear about your experiences. My email to said friend is open and half typed. Yet the fear, oh you know how I hate the fear of judgement!


  1. The fear of judgment is what holds so many of us back in so many ways. I didn't tell close peeps about my blog at first, but now everyone knows and they are so proud, even the ones who don't really get it. I say put yourself out there, let the world know and those that do judge, well it says more about who they are as people than it does about you. Your blog is yours to do with / say what you want and you've earnt a loyal following for being yourself, warts and all, don't change xxx

  2. I have told my friends and family and to be honest I don't think that many of them read it. But I was apprehensive before telling them and still downplay it as I find it weird to think of them reading it as in many ways I can be way more honest on the blog than I am to them.

    It is a tricky situation but you should be proud of your blog, it is witty and well written and visited by many people I am hold your head up high you have nothing to hide. xx

  3. Oh, this was such a refreshing blog post to read because I totally know what you mean! I've loved blogging so much for the past few years, that it's become a part of who I am, and I guess it's for that reason that I am very guarded about it and avoid talking about it in real life. Yes, I'm afraid of how others will judge my blog, which in essence means they're judging ME. Last year, I started by telling my 4 closest friends about my blog, and I was SO pleasantly surprised and encouraged by their response. They don't really share most of my interests that I blog about, but they've been so supportive anyway, and that means so much.
    I'm still very careful about who I "come out" to, but if I trust them, or if I know they will like the content of my blog, then it's not a bad idea :)

    from one Anna to another. xo

  4. I think they'll all read it at first and then just drift away or forget. I have a friend who told no one she blogged for ages - I think she wonders why now!

  5. I agree with Lottie, sometimes it can be a lot easier to be honest with strangers than your nearest and dearest. When I 'came out' I was worried knowing that people who knew me may be reading would impact on how open I could be. That I might feel exposed or need to censor what I was writing. But on the whole that hasn't happened.

    And the benefits of being open have far outweighed the negatives. Very few people have been judgemental (and as Michelle says that's more about them than me). A lot of my close friends like yours aren't really internet savvy, so they rarely read it. Mostly I love that I feel more connected to the people around me. That they can choose how engaged they want to be with my ramblings. And coming out has lead to some really interesting conversations with friends of friends, who I didn't even know read my blog, who because I'm open feel they can be honest too.

    Perhaps try baby steps, just telling a couple of close friends then widening the circle. How they react, well that's up to them. But you have nothing to be ashamed of

    Good luck, Rowan xxx

  6. Nothing to add other than a quote from my fave doctor, other than your good self, House, and Dr Quinn.

    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

  7. Thank you. It would appear that the Mouse I was refering to has been squeaking around these pages for some time!

    Hmm. Maybe I should continue my voyage!

  8. This is a really interesting one, and one I kind of have mixed feelings about. Whoever said you're more honest with strangers is totally right.

    I've used blogs for a number of years; for a long time I used them merely as a 'sounding board'. I've suffered from depression since I was 14 and I found a blog really useful for just getting stuff off my chest - I didn't care much about whether people read it (and by that point already, there were a few Titans of Blogging and I felt there wasn't much point in trying to compete with them!)

    I once got caught out by some 'friends'. I had rather foolishly blogged about my experiences with some friends and how I felt they'd alienated me one particular evening at a gathering. Before I knew it, another 'friend' had found the blog by Googling (or Ask Jeeves-ing as it was in those days!) my nickname and then sending the aforementioned blog post to the girls I had mentioned. Nice. Lesson learnt on that one.

    When I got engaged I figured that I wanted the blog to take a more wedding planning direction, but as opposed to the Titans of Blogging (by which time there were MANY and clearly no way I could ever compete with them!) I just wanted it to be about my wedding plans.

    The problem was that I had written so much personal stuff on the blog that I decided to maintain my readership and my URL and just delete the old stuff. To be fair, I found that process kind of cathartic in itself.

    As for whether to share with friends, I'm more than happy for them to read it, I think a few do, I think my mum reads it and if I slag her off in a post, well, she'll just have to deal with it!!

    You should be proud of your blog, you've built up a good archive of amazing and informative and gorgeous posts and I think you should share it with as many people as you like!!

    Anyway, I've rambled but at least I didn't write all this to you in Tweets!!

  9. oh, this is such a great topic! i never know who would even be interested in my blog, and never know how open to be. thanks for sharing!

  10. Eek! I find myself in the exact same situation. I have not told any of my family or friends, and I really thought I never would. However, recently I have been wondering the same things as you, as I also like to be honest and there have been moments of conversation in real life where I have had to steer things another way to avoid outing myself.

    I am a bit scared to do it as I feel like I would monitor what I wrote more, rather than being anonymous.

    Hmmmmm indeed...


So, I really love all the sweet and/or informative comments that you lovelies leave. Yet if you feel the need to be unnecessarily rude or offensive I will delete your comment and not feel bad about it. So just be constructive alright! Hugs to all you wondrous others.


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