Wednesday, 20 July 2011

i think i am a little stupid.

See I can play nicely. (And I miss you blond hair)

Thank you all so very much for your comments, tweets and emails regarding this post about me and my loneliness. Wonderfully overwhelmed and whilst it is horrible to hear that so many others are suffering too, it is strangely nice to know I'm not the only one.

I may have thought and maybe even written about this before but it was only as I sat watching a Friends rerun (please don't hate I was a teenager of the 90s and I still bloody love it - oh Chandler I adore you) I realised that perhaps Friends was my problem. It is patently obvious to me that I lust after a very close knit group of friends. There appears to be a little extravert inside me wanting to get out. I want to be a Monica. I want to be entertaining my little gaggle of homies with love and food and have you live next door so I can just pop over for hugs and giggles.

Damn you Friends you have really screwed up my expectations of friendship. It made me think that to have meaningful contact with humans I needed to be with people all the time. I think I mistook Hollywood's spin on friendship for what people actually have. See I told you I was stupid. Years of me fawning over the lives of 6 fictional characters and I did not realise that it wasn't just the words that were scripted. Oh such a fool.

I still most definitely want that. Well maybe just to live in a block of flat with all my friends on different floors and me in the penthouse (selfish but it's my dream alright!). However perhaps now I can learn that friendship for other people is not just about hanging around eating crisps and watching football. Although the idea of hanging around eating crisps (chips my american friends) and watching football doesn't really thrill, so perhaps playing x-box or the non-ironic thrill of Baywatch may be allowed? Without sounding like a self-help book. It is about putting yourself out there and trying. Not just assuming people will come to you but no being a doormat either (oh how I can be a very good doormat).

Oh and whilst I am being grumpy and preaching on that subject I shall also be talking about how Dawson's Creek has wrecked relationships for a generation too. (Perhaps on the blog tomorrow!)

And yes I very much do need to get out of the house and do something productive. It's just a little difficult right now what with outbursts of very acute sickness* and annoyingly random appointments for my brain. Indeed having to let charity's down would not bode well for my feelings of inadequateness. 

However I am trying to see more people and if you fancy meeting a relatively nice young lady for lunch or coffee (I usually come armed with vouchers if you are happy to slum it at zizzi's or pizza express), I could be your gal. Yes, I am definitely in the market to meet with lovely people. Would you be interested? I know you are all busy busy people but if you have a free lunch time or evening? Let's do something fun (albeit without alcohol for me). Ooo anyone fancy going to see the butterflies at the Natural History Museum? I am willing to let my hair go incredibly frizzy for you! Please just drop me a line at annaandtheringlondon at

I am going to make 2011, fun. Huzzah. 

*I am yet to tell you about my weekend!

pma - being short is sometime good. It means I can wear maxi dresses and feel like I am walking with a train everywhere especially the delicate descent down stairs. Oh the glamour. Yes I am a bride everyday right now. (I realise this backfires in the rain but 'tis fun no less!)


  1. Oh Anna your dream of friendship and mine are so similar! I too watch friends (I own the DVDs so much worse) and long for a group of friend I see regularly, I also have a blog & twitter where I talk to wonderful people but seem to have no real in person friends. I am currently unemployed and applying for uni to reach my dream job worried that even there I will be older than all the 'freshers' and lonely just in another place.

    I would very much love to meet up for drinks or even emails! You are right it is very nice not to be alone in this lost lonely place

    Love and thoughts

  2. I would love to be your friend! Though unfortunately an ocean separates us. Maybe a visit sometime? I have decided that I might start calling chips "crisps" though, because that does sound a lot cooler.

  3. I still love Friends (watching it now in fact) but it's the most unrealistic depiction of adulthood ever - when do they ever do any work, or the food shopping, or the commute, or with the exception of Monica any chores? It's about as true to life as Harry Potter is an accurate depiction of school. And it's very easy to build a tightknit little gang in a fictional environment where too many characters would be confusing (hell even Mike isn't really in it even after he's married to Phoebe) but in the complicated world we live in it's a whole different ball game.

    I'm incredibly rubbish at diarising (ask Amma from Beyond Beyond - she lives literally down the road from me and I've been trying to see her since Christmas!) but would love to meet up sometime! x

  4. If you're ever in Glasgow come and say hello, I live near the big red museum! I've been very much feeling this way lately and it's kind of nice to hear other people feel it too instead of just me being a giant freak!

  5. I'd totally be up for meeting you! Bummer I'm not in London though. I agree with you that Hollywood in general distorts our perceptions of things. Like friendship and love. At least yours were skewed towards Friends rather than Melrose Place. I've discovered that sometimes even talking to friends via gchat or skype makes me feel less lonely, especially now that I'm stuck in rural New Jersey.

  6. Oh I have so said this! Friends completely wrecked our generation's expectations of our 20s - Why oh why don't I live in a huge amazing appartment, drinking coffee and chatting and going out and seemingly never having to work?

    Completely agree with Dawson's creek doing the same thing too re relationships, am pretty sure I spent my formative years saving myself for Pacey.

    Now I just have to convince myself that my 30s will be nothing like sex & the city (probably a good thing, although I would really like the unlimited wardrobe)

  7. You are not stupid. You are lovely, sweet kind and sincere. And I hope you get to meet lots of lovely people and make some lovely new friends at my Soiree in 2 weeks time.

    I can't wait too see you sweets ;)



So, I really love all the sweet and/or informative comments that you lovelies leave. Yet if you feel the need to be unnecessarily rude or offensive I will delete your comment and not feel bad about it. So just be constructive alright! Hugs to all you wondrous others.


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