See I can play nicely. (And I miss you blond hair)
Thank you all so very much for your comments, tweets and emails regarding this post about me and my loneliness. Wonderfully overwhelmed and whilst it is horrible to hear that so many others are suffering too, it is strangely nice to know I'm not the only one.
I may have thought and maybe even written about this before but it was only as I sat watching a Friends rerun (please don't hate I was a teenager of the 90s and I still bloody love it - oh Chandler I adore you) I realised that perhaps Friends was my problem. It is patently obvious to me that I lust after a very close knit group of friends. There appears to be a little extravert inside me wanting to get out. I want to be a Monica. I want to be entertaining my little gaggle of homies with love and food and have you live next door so I can just pop over for hugs and giggles.
Damn you Friends you have really screwed up my expectations of friendship. It made me think that to have meaningful contact with humans I needed to be with people all the time. I think I mistook Hollywood's spin on friendship for what people actually have. See I told you I was stupid. Years of me fawning over the lives of 6 fictional characters and I did not realise that it wasn't just the words that were scripted. Oh such a fool.
I still most definitely want that. Well maybe just to live in a block of flat with all my friends on different floors and me in the penthouse (selfish but it's my dream alright!). However perhaps now I can learn that friendship for other people is not just about hanging around eating crisps and watching football. Although the idea of hanging around eating crisps (chips my american friends) and watching football doesn't really thrill, so perhaps playing x-box or the non-ironic thrill of Baywatch may be allowed? Without sounding like a self-help book. It is about putting yourself out there and trying. Not just assuming people will come to you but no being a doormat either (oh how I can be a very good doormat).
Oh and whilst I am being grumpy and preaching on that subject I shall also be talking about how Dawson's Creek has wrecked relationships for a generation too. (Perhaps on the blog tomorrow!)
And yes I very much do need to get out of the house and do something productive. It's just a little difficult right now what with outbursts of very acute sickness* and annoyingly random appointments for my brain. Indeed having to let charity's down would not bode well for my feelings of inadequateness.
However I am trying to see more people and if you fancy meeting a relatively nice young lady for lunch or coffee (I usually come armed with vouchers if you are happy to slum it at zizzi's or pizza express), I could be your gal. Yes, I am definitely in the market to meet with lovely people. Would you be interested? I know you are all busy busy people but if you have a free lunch time or evening? Let's do something fun (albeit without alcohol for me). Ooo anyone fancy going to see the butterflies at the Natural History Museum? I am willing to let my hair go incredibly frizzy for you! Please just drop me a line at annaandtheringlondon at gmail.com.
I am going to make 2011, fun. Huzzah.
*I am yet to tell you about my weekend!
pma - being short is sometime good. It means I can wear maxi dresses and feel like I am walking with a train everywhere especially the delicate descent down stairs. Oh the glamour. Yes I am a bride everyday right now. (I realise this backfires in the rain but 'tis fun no less!)