Thursday, 21 July 2011

can i tell you about my weekend.

This past weekend was just one of the more embarrassing of my adult life. I think I need to share because oh the shame, the shame!

The omens were all there. I felt a little iffy (for want of a better word) and the heavens oh my, the heavens were crying. The rain was almost apocalyptic. Yet, this was not what I feared. I was to attend a hen party of someone whom was more of an acquaintance* rather than a good friend. Indeed I knew nothing of the acquaintances of said acquaintance. Oh the fear. Should I try to be funny anna or clever anna? Or should I be quiet anna. God knows I do tend to talk a little too much in new social situations. Nonetheless, the money had been paid and Bean would not let me back out now.

So I arrived with sheets of rain pounding down upon the shiny streets of Clapham in nervous trepidation. Unsurprisingly, whilst there were many close friends in her home I was very much welcomed into the fold. Luckily, astute anna (not really) noticed there were other nervous introverts in the room and latched on like a limpet! Why thank you other shy ladies.

So after a few sips of champagne we trundled along to Holborn to a rather inconspicuous community centre with a rather confused hen. Being central London most things on the pinboard in the entrance hall were related to the reduction in knife crime and it was rather enjoyable to try and convince her we were about to have a knife crime aerobics lecture by Mr Motivator. (The hen had googled hen and holborn when she was told where we were going and apparently Mr Motivator offers thrilling classes for hen parties?!).

Anyhoo, obviously we were off to make something. Jewellery.

Jewellers of London, nay the world. Fear not. These parties really should not leave you quaking in your boots. Just look at the atrocities I made against jewellery. There is no Geneva Convention for these poor sad beads. Perhaps the beads began to identify with their captors? Knowing that the only way to leave this certain circle of hell was to demand to be made into a hideous bracelet? The ugly little beads and their sad friends fell bravely out of their little containers asking to be saved. Is this the only non human case of Stockholm Syndrome? I tried. I really tried. I rescued as many of the sad beads as I could. Oh the poor beads. I left so many behind. Oh so many. (Get the feeling I'm not so much into the rubbish beaded jewellery?) Although I will admit it was actually rather fun. I did rather enjoy playing with the pliers! However, a crazy amount of concentration is required. 




Such a talent I am!

Oh but the sweet hell was to continue. I may have had another couple of sips of champagne. I promise not more than 2 tiny tiny glasses. And there I was in flat with 9 other woman, with one bathroom and 9 other women wanting to primp and preen, a flat with one bathroom. I think you can see where this is going. Oh the shame. I had to push people out of the bathroom and barely made it to the sink. Oh the shame. Yet the worst is yet to come.

I sheepishly exited the bathroom and rang Bean asking for him to be my white knight. Luckily, he is a great white knight and swept me off my feet and into the car. Unfortunately at the very same moment we drove off the ladies were leaving to go onto dinner and then karaoke (yes it was to be a great night!) in their taxis. This was the very moment I decided that I must be very very unwell once again. Not since I were a 15 year old gal trying to impress boys with my cider drinking ability (or lack thereof after 2 litres in 30 minutes) have I ever embarrassed myself in public in the same way in full view of everybody I will see at a wedding in but 3 weeks time. Ah well, one lives and learns. Although I had thought I had already done that. A wonderful thank you for Bean for still kissing me (on the forehead) when we made it home!

This weekend shall be different. This weekend holds the dignity and love of a wonderful wedding. A wedding I shall hopefully be helping prepare tomorrow. I will be mostly wearing this cute hat which I bought in a sample sale and these shoes from eBay. Yes. I know how to get the bargains.


I bloody love this. I shall be wearing it with a very high sleek ponytail. Do you like? I may have to devote an entire post to this badboy!


So pointy and comfy!

and hopefully not imbibing the merest drop of alcohol. Please Bean help me!

What are you up to this weekend?

*Although we all know that I have issues with knowing what an acquaintance actually is.

pma I love that I buy shoes from eBay and forget about them. The pair above are deliciously comfy and ridiculously pointy Anya Hindmarch's which I bought long ago for maybe £10. Bargain.

5 comments:

  1. While I have every sympathy with your plight, I must say that I laughed mightily throughout. Very funny post Anna, and indeed a mighty fine hat-shoe combo. Have a brilliant time at the weekend! x

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  2. That hat is fab and that is all I have to say.

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  3. oh poor Anna and That hat is amazing and I actually think the bracelet you made is rather cute...
    xxxx

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  4. Bless you sweets, you are the only person who could make projectile vomming both witty and eloquent. I love thee lady x

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  5. Eh, they were probably doing the same thing later. You just got the party started earlier. I threw up in the back of a cab once (and all over myself) and had to walk into my mother's doorman building and past ALL the security guards with fresh vomit all over myself. So, you know, we've all been there. : O )

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So, I really love all the sweet and/or informative comments that you lovelies leave. Yet if you feel the need to be unnecessarily rude or offensive I will delete your comment and not feel bad about it. So just be constructive alright! Hugs to all you wondrous others.

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