Friday, 31 December 2010

what a year....

a very cropped picture from a darling friend

...the year I got married

...the year I promised myself I will get better

...the year I started many beautiful, wonderful friendships which I hope will continue into forever (please know who you are and that I will always be there for you)

...the year I revealed myself to "the world"*

Thank you so very much for being so incredibly kind to a "plump", unhappy, nervous girl,

Annabel at Love My Dress

Kat at Rock n Roll Bride

and Emma Case

(you know how much I love you, right?)

...the year I decided 2011 will be my year.

2010 was good but 2011 will be better.

and thank you, thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for being so supportive and just well, always here for me. 

(I do hope I have offered you something in return, I really want to be that person)

*well my face and just to the little wedding world but it was still a huge thing for me.

Friday, 24 December 2010

did i love my dress?

A little Christmas Eve treat for you all!

The delicious Annabel of Love My Dress has written about our wedding!

What do you think?

Do you love my dress? (You don't have to love it. I just love saying, love my dress!)

(Do not fret there are more words from me to come. I just need to get a little perspective!)

Thursday, 9 December 2010


Well ladies (and sneaky odd* gentleman!)

Wow, you guys. Your sweetness has made me rather teary!

Emma is rather good and Bean does look rather dashing!!

I wish I could attempt a little eloquence but eeekables are getting in the way.

So thank you and a promise to maybe show you more photographs?  Is that ok?

*Odd in the good way!

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

a teeny tiny sneaky peek

There are a couple of caveats and provisos

1. Be nice?! (although I wouldn't expect anything else from you lovelies!)

2. Remember Bean and I are still attempting to remain anonymous so please try to refrain from naming him on the blog. (Although our anonymity is slowly decreasing!)

3. Be honest I don't want all happy happy comments - I think that would undermine my whole perfection is boring mantra! (in private if you would like).

4. Please understand I'm not hot and my delicious photographer Emma really is a genius (so it's not her fault that I'm a bit rubbish looking. Bean however, looks da bomb!)

So ok, here goes.

Can you tell I'm a little nervous...?

Fly my pretties, let me know what you think (I know it shouldn't matter but you know)...and do say hello to Emma too for she makes me very happy...

what does a wedding mean to you?

I start with the beautifully insightful Peacock Feathers. Her words inspire me to be a better person. I am so glad she has been in my life (albeit mostly remotely) for my whole planning process. 

And so I leave the floor the the wonderful lady herself.

Years ago, back when my husband and I were at university, we were in the surfing club. One day when were on the beach, debating whether to go into the water in a high wind, we were approached by a camera crew and asked if we would give our thoughts on marriage. They were filming a programme on young people's thoughts on weddings and marriage. Tongue tied in front of a boy I dearly loved but dare not admit, I let him speak first. "A massive excuse for a massive party" he responded, or something very similar "a celebration with our best people". We all laughed. I can see us now, in our wetsuits, dishevelled in the high winds, signing the release form for our thoughts to be broadcast to the nation.
That night, in a grotty room in a surfers boarding house, he told me he loved me. Six years later, on another surfing trip to Cornwall, this time just the two of us, he proposed. Once again, in a bikini and salty clothes, hair dishevelled from a morning in the water, we discussed what a wedding meant to each of us. We were still in agreement that whatever form the wedding took the party was to be a proper celebration - our best people, good food, good wine, good music. And it was.
We didn't have a reserve list. People were either invited or they weren't. There were no waiting staff or hired help (save the caterer and the photographer). If one of the guests wanted a drink, they went to the 'bar' to help themselves. Unless you were a Granny, of course, then there was a team of willing friends to get you one. People didn't faint when it became obvious that they would have to stack their plates up and help each other to trays of tea and coffee. Speeches were given, heckles shouted. Music flowed, people danced like they were at a night club whilst others sat and chatted. There was no segregation of old or young, male or female, school friends and newer friends. As Husband and I started our 'first dance' the dance floor was lined with a circle of support, everyone mingled in together. It was wonderful. And that is what our wedding meant to me - the support and genuine celebration of our love and marriage. In the service, the shout of "we do" that accompanied the vicar's question of "who supports this couple" gave me extra confidence when making my vows.
In a wider context, a wedding means the same thing, only I am the one supporting and celebrating. Be it an old friend, a new friend or a blog friend, we are the layers which surround that couple and give them the confidence to celebrate their love and commitment. Who will provide support no matter how hard things get or how easy the road. Be us personal friends who can provide physical help or online friends who can listen in writing.
And so, on this dark November week, which may well bring snow and wintery difficulties, I wish Anna and her Bean all the best for their day, and their celebrations, and look forward to continuing to form part of the support which surrounds them. Because, for me, that is what a wedding means.

Monday, 6 December 2010

what to say...



...the wedding...hmm.

I wanted to write a post about how I felt the days after the wedding. Yet, the focus on those days was not of joy but of disappointment. (I still want to write about the sadness but not just yet.) Don't get me wrong I am in love with Bean so very very much. (Just not the wedding day, yet.)

So whilst I collect my thoughts I shall leave the floor open to the wonderful ladies (and the occasional dashing gentleman).

Enjoy lovelies.

Friday, 3 December 2010

what does a wedding mean to you?

I write this post as an unmarried woman.*

I want to write this without the clouding of the issue with "my day." I do hope to reassess my views after the wedding to see if things change.

I write this as determined anna, the anna you see below.

So, at last it is almost my turn to become a wife. I can't yet say whether it has been an easy or difficult ride. 

So what does a wedding mean to me?

I think I understand what marriage means. Well I think I know what it will mean for Bean and me. However that is for another day.

Time has marched on with me trying to get to grips with the whole concept of a wedding.

I have had issues with the idea of the hoopla. The overindulgence, the selfishness and the general point of a wedding (apart from the getting married part)?

Is it for the Bean and me, is it for our parents, is it for generations to come? I just don't know. I know right now that I am not really looking forward to my wedding. Body issues, self confidence issue and money issues do somewhat put a a dampener on festivities.

The wedding is happening. Maybe I shall never know what a wedding means. Maybe I shall learn over the next few days.  Wish me luck.

I am lucky enough to have had the support of so many of you over the past eighteen months and even luckier that some of your will be offering their thoughts of the next few days about, "What a wedding means."

So enjoy yourself this weekend. Think of me at 2pm GMT getting ready to say "i do" to the only man I want to ever love. Don your gladrags and raise a glass of tea or champers to me and my Bean.

(Yes I am very nervous!)

*I wish I could have posted this as an unmarried woman. Stupid lack of internet, laptop and general uber chaos!


Blog Widget by LinkWithin