....I had such a flair for melodrama. (Although Bean may disagree!)
One of my favourite photographs. My cousin, myself and my little brother waiting for the DLR.
Although my brother does seem to be winning in the drama stakes!
Bless his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bumbag!
So sorry for my tears. Last night was the worst night I have had in months. I felt so very sick. Nothing seems to be going right.
Our comedy of errors so far-
~ Our darling photographers had to cancel, although we have solved this with a just as fabulous photographer
~ Our venue somewhat burnt down
~ We lost our DJ and some other live entertainment
~ My dress may be rubbish (also included in that is my lack of beautifulness)
and more but I just can't bring myself to think about it.
It just seems anything I don't have actual control of has gone wrong! (Well save the hideousness)
To tell the truth I have been feeling really quite unwell over the past few weeks and have been asked to stand down from my job for a few months.
Depression really is a bitch. Just when you think you are doing well and almost "there" it comes back with a vengeance. In most ways it is nothing to do with the wedding but I dare say wedding stress has not helped. However my blackness runs far deeper. Yet these things take time. The first step for me is to try and be positive. So let me be positive for but a moment.
~ I am marrying a delicious Bean and it will happen by the end of this year
~ We have two adorable kittens living with us
~ I will get better and back to work
~ I had a great hair and make-up trial on friday (I now need to start looking at myself and not get physically repulsed)
~ I had a great time this weekend with my hens
~ We don't need a DJ, our cheese will suffice
I now have remembered that a wedding is not the end of my life yet simply another beginning.
If the wedding all goes to shit, well fuck it. It's not the bloody end of the world.
The wedding will not be blog worthy and well maybe that is just fine.
So sorry for my tears last night. I think I just needed to get them out of my system.
Thank you. One and all. I really do mean it.