Whilst we are trying to sort out the venue situation I thought I might discuss the name situation. Tis truly a week of quandaries.
Since I was little I have always loved my name (well not my middle name but that's ok!). I loved that I wasn't just another Jane Doe and had a name people could not pronounce. It made me feel exotic.**
Here I am with but a couple of my Polish relations and my little bro, he be the tiny boy with the white blonde hair!
Like most of your I have had the same name all my life.
So my name is Anna Biglongpolishname.
This is further complicated that I am obviously professionally known as Dr Anna Biglongpolishname. A name which I am advised to keep throughout my professional life as I have won prizes and published things under said name. Also I find people think I am super clever with this name. Although I have never actually changed my title in the real world. Far too much hassle and I am not defined by my profession (also slightly worried about the fateful is their a doctor on the plane scenario - of course I would stand up but after waiting a couple of seconds for another!).
So really the title is a red herring issue. I think I will continue to be Dr Anna Biglongpolishname at work whatever happens. Also the GMC are a little weird, I do not want to enrage them.
The next complication is Bean's name. If I take his name I will be Anna Annason (well almost!). Which would be great if I were a crime writer or pop star (maybe one day) but it's not a real person name! I guess I could just suck it up but is it so bad I like my own name?
We are also assuming there may be babies one day and we would like them to have the same name. For me it just makes sense. For me it adds to the sense of family. It enforces the idea that we are a unit, together.
We discussed the idea of choosing another name but Bean no likey and to be honest, how on earth does one choose another name?
So obviously the last choice*** is to double barrel, well without the hyphen (how gauche!) although I do admit the concept of the double barrel is rather bourgeoisie in itself. However I do rather like the sound of Anna Biglongpolishname Annason. (Also our children will be super intelligent and have no trouble spelling a slightly weird complicated name).**** Only that way works because otherwise I am my father/mother. Yes my father's forename is Bean's surname.
So I am happy to take Bean's name with mine but should I encourage Bean to take mine? Is it discourteous towards him and his family, a family who I really admire and love with all my heart. Is it emasculating? For some men maybe, but Bean is a pretty wise and modern guy and I hope/almost sure he knows that me not wanting to become Anna Annason is disrespectful but a sign of how much my past is part of me. Something to be celebrated in our future life together rather than dismissed and forgotten for him to assume the role of Patriarch. (Not that I would say I have a foreboding dominating patriarchal influence now but...). That we will now be a partnership and allows us to define a family of our own?
I have tested the water and he does seem happy to take my name too, but I think this is still a work in progress. The next step, if I get my way, is to decide the best way in which to go about this process, ahh red tape.
What are you choosing to do and why?
*Man how I loved Destiny's Child!
**Yes Bean, exotic!
***Actually this probably isn't the last choice, he could take my name but that hardly seems fair either.
****As a complete aside I dreamt I had babies, older one was "normal" and the other was talking and eating normal adult food from day 1. Bean is now worried that rather than a evil mastermind I may incubate some sort of demonic child.