That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.
So what does a wedding mean?
Our wedding will be more than the sum of it parts. In my bumbling way I want to say that I am so grateful so many of you will be part of my wedding. I had no idea when I started rabbiting on about my daily thoughts about the wedding that I would be helped by so many of you. I sit here with tears in my eyes, full of appreciation that you have taken the time to email me, call me and meet me, to become friends. The wedding will be about Bean and me but will also be the personification of the love you have shown me. I will be a married lady in 4 months time and I am freaking out. My tears of happiness are overcome by my tears of worry. Not about the day, the marriage but about me.
The thing is....
I know I ask for so many things from you. Yet this time I need you so very much.
I am not ashamed to say what I am about to say.
I do not want to look like I do at the moment on my wedding day.
My skin does not glow, my hair is not shiny and most of all I am fat. I hate the word but it is true. I am trying to eat healthily but get very little exercise. I hate to say I want a quick fix but I do. It goes against everything I stand for. It is not how you look but how you feel. Yet at this moment in time all I can think about is how my grandchildren will look at my wedding photographs and think I was rather too round. I hate being the shape I am.
If you are happy with your size then that is fine, it's just I am not. It's not the media, the WIC, it is just me. A problem that extends back into forever. However I am motivated, willing to learn or try anything. I shall hopefully be joining a slimming club next week but I need more.
Can you help me?
I want to be this very happy girl...albeit without the blonde hair.
I also want to bring party dresses back!