Tuesday, 20 July 2010

warning, warning...bridezilla approaching..

So I am going to describe a somewhat non hypothetical scenario.  Your thoughts, as always, are required!

I love my ladies and yes if I had hours and hours to spend I would trawl the internet and beautiful shops to find three perfectly mismatched dresses which they would all love.  However I do not.  Also they are understandably a little interested in what they are wearing and I want them to look and feel hot.

With less than 4 months to go (it is not as long as I first thought with so many weekends busy already) I am restless and just want to sort things out.  I have decided to up my budget for their dresses so I can find something a little fabulous. They are more than willing to help me find said dresses, indeed we are going shopping this weekend, but

However if I up my budget and buy them wonderful dresses can I ask for them back after the wedding to keep or maybe sell on?  Or this a super faux pas?

Also whilst I think we may ultimately end up wearing black dresses I do adore the silver dress look below (particularly the first on the left) and wish I could recreate such an effortless look with ease.  I know I've asked before but does anyone know a place to find beautiful yet not uber pricey dresses?

I am sorry but I have no idea where I found the above photographs.

I do love these next three dresses all from ASOS.com. A little sexy, beautiful and hopefully a little apt for flirtation (well probably not the one with a newborn but if she wants..)

Do you think they could work together with pretty pink anemones as flowers? 

I need that special phrase that convinces people that I am right.  Well apart from "I'm the bride and do what I say!" I really do not want to ever utter those words.


  1. I wish I knew where to find lovely dresses in your part of the world. If you were stateside, I would recommend the dress departments at Macy's or Sak's or Bloomingdales, which always seem to buy a lot of different styles in similar colors and where we can find perfectly lovely cocktail dresses at relatively affordable prices. So do you have a lovely department store with a nice dress department? I would start there.

  2. we went with asos dresses. there's so much to choose from, ship super quick and a good price for bridesmaids.

    it's hard to make every lady happy!

  3. Wish I could help more with where to look...

    We went with grey (well, silvery-grey) dresses and I asked the three girls to each find their own. All were lovely, simple, suited each perfectly, and were matched to whatever they could afford.

    Seems awkward to me to ask for the dresses back. Could they not purchase their own (with you having veto power, of course) and see if they don't surprise you with their choices?

  4. Here you go again with the pretty! As a bride I wanna say yes to asking for the dresses back, but my bridesmaids voice is saying "WAAHHH! ME LIKEY! ME KEEPY!" (ew.) So I can't say... but you have fabulous taste, none the less!

  5. I love the silver through to black, with pink anenomes (damn you for geting married at a time of year that allows anenomes, I so wanted them). I can't help with finding them though, I'm rbbish at that sort of thing, but the asos ones look lovely - I found that just plumping for something helped enormously. why not set them each a budget, give them a paint card with the colour and ask them to buy something that they love?
    I think asking for them back, is as you say, probably a massive faux pas. if they are expensive, and you've paid for them, make it clear to them that the dresses are their presents, and that they need to find their own shoes/jewellery/wrap?(and that they might not get christmas presents if we are talking lotsa moolah so near xmas!)
    hope that helps though not sure if it will!

  6. I swear we are the only country in the world where it's expected that the bride pay for the dresses. If you dare to pipe up that "phew, this is rather insanely expensive!" then people like to have a snipe at the number of attendants you have. Gargh.

    So - my recommendation is either

    a) get the girls to pick and pay for something themselves - something that fits with the colour you want. If you send links to some of your favourites, good friends are inherently eager to please in this situation and they will undoubtedly pick something from the links. It's not like they wouldn't buy something new for the wedding if they weren't bridesmaids.


    b) Hit the Monsoon sale. That's what I did. £85 reduced to £25.50.

    The *only* way the hand-it-back option might work is if you tell a bit of a fib and say they're rented.

    But... Obviously it depends on your friends, and only you can judge what they might think. When one of my BMs got married in April, my dress was *hideous*. I will never, ever wear it again, but haven't got around to eBaying it. Having read your post, I'm kind of thinking that I ought to give it back to her so she can eBay it.

  7. Ha, well we can talk about this more in depth but as a recent bridesmaid I was given a dress that a) didn't fit and b) didn't suit me which needless to say didn't make me feel too happy with the choice but us maids didn't have a say as she just saw them and bought them in a sale. The bride has asked for them back so she can sell them on. I didn't have a huge problem with this...however we had to pay for our own hair, make-up, jewellery, manicures, shoes etc etc so I've now ended up out of pocket big time and dress-less {no I didn't like it, but it may have come in handy, you never know!}.

    Funnily enough I actually wore a grey/silver floaty number from LK Bennett but I think black is better as the girls are likely to wear again, so in this instance, perhaps suggest going halves on a v nice black dress that they get to pick out and then they can keep it. If not, this little place does some pretty dresses http://www.ducie.co.uk/ and there are sales everywhere...check out My Wardrobe for designer dresses for under £200.

  8. What a toughie! I like phase eight http://www.phase-eight.co.uk/fcp/product/warehouse/Dresses/Millie-Embellished-Shoulder-Dress/201063153?colour=gre. But my main piece of advice would just to go shopping with your gorgeous girls and chat it over with them, try things on, make sure they fit. I bought dresses in an online sale and wouldn't recommend it - the girls looked gorgeous on the day but they both worried about sizing.

  9. I don't have much of value to say, but just wanted to say that top picture...yeh I have that saved too and is exactly how I wanted my girls to look. Didn't happen, but you know, I like to look at it to remind me what could have been.

    Fliss xxx

    ps ended up getting these http://www.tedbaker.com/women%27s/dresses/81106-bow_detail_dress/detail.aspx?pfm=browse from Ted Baker....might work for you? Not exactly cheap, but both of the girls loved them, and that was the main thing.

    Acccckkk....just realised they are reduced to half price in the sale. I paid full price. Great.

  10. Hmm Katie's answer above sums it up best for me - as a bride, totally makes sense to ask for them back, as a bridesmaids I'd maybe want to keep it.

    The bm dresses were one area I could have saved a lot of money and headache. They were tailor made for the girls. Yeah what was I thinking. But they looked great and (mostly) liked them. Funny enough, the fit was off for some!

  11. Im with some of the others in that I wouldnt feel right asking for them back, the ones I got my girls are now theirs to keep. We went with dessy so they werent the cheapest option but had the colour I wanted and flattered them all.

    I was a bridesmaid once where the bride asked us to buy our own dresses and while I wouldnt have asked my girls to do that, its an option? I did ask my girls to get their own shoes as no one likes the same shoes or could get the same to fit etc.

    Not really sure where else you can look either except places like moonsoon or coast.

  12. Love the pic with the bridesmaids in pink! Currently I'm planning on having only 2 bridesmaids to keep things simple – but I was thinking that allows for them to have the same dress in different colours or different dresses but in similar or complimentary colours... I do need to decide what I'm wearing first right though?

  13. Have you looked at Oli http://www.oli.co.uk their stuff is very reasonable and I love this heart one even though its nothing like your colours I think it'd be fab for a bridesmaid if I was having one http://www.oli.co.uk/Closet-Love-Heart-Dress/productdisplay.stm?An=673&A=57C537_8&N=4294965277+4294967158+673+697+715+4294963629&Au=P_MasterItem&Nu=P_MasterItem&Ns=P_Colour|0||P_Size|0

  14. I do love those three silver dresses, and I think the fact that they are all different makes it even more interesting. I am going to do our bm's dresses in light gray or black, and all my bridesmaids have very different bodies, so I'm gonna give them a few options that are reasonably priced and let them pick their own. I wanted them to pick their own because I am gonna ask them to buy their own dress and I want them to have something they like, are comfortable in and will wear again.

    I don't see why instead of asking for the dresses back you could just ask for them to buy their own (with your supervision of course, considering it's your wedding). It seems more appropriate to ask for them to buy their own than to ask for the dress back. I'd be too scared to do that, for fear they'd all be mad afterward.

  15. Love the silver dresses. Like Gaynor, I am going with Dessy - not the cheapest but I like the fact that I can have several different designs in the same colour and fabric. And like you I have gone with a grey/silver (called the very unsexy 'quarry').

    Re costs... I would go with asking if they could pay for them, I'm not sure I could ask for them back after! x

  16. what do you think about something like this?


    i notice you had some chiffon-y dresses in your inspiration pics, and bari jay has some gorgeous ones.

  17. Ooo we may be sorted! Thank you for all your ideas. So helpful.

    Although there may not be a reveal until after the wedding!


So, I really love all the sweet and/or informative comments that you lovelies leave. Yet if you feel the need to be unnecessarily rude or offensive I will delete your comment and not feel bad about it. So just be constructive alright! Hugs to all you wondrous others.


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