Time for a little bit of blood from the stone. Anna, as you might see from her last post, is a trifle busy these days so it's probably time for me to start pulling my weight.
Things are starting to get a bit serious. Time was we could post whatever frivolous things we desired and head it "Wedding List Wednesday". Now we actually have to consider what we might actually, realistically get.
We looked at all the mundane, practical things that we need (a new kettle and iron, we've got our for special crockery but for some odd reason when we got our stuff for every day we decided upon varying shades of brown, so that's being replaced) and tried to match this with what various shops and gift lists we could come up with.
This didn't really turn out as we hoped. John Lewis was, to be frank, a little bit boring. If we were starting from scratch it would be great, but we've already got most of the stuff we need. The Vintage Wedding List was, if anything, too interesting with too few things that would be practical and so, a little bit difficult to justify for the price you pay. Heals, while great for housewares only has a limited range of electicals and Habitat has none at all.
The other issue is that wedding is in November and it seems a bit silly to make a list of things for people to buy for you when you know fine well you'll be able to get the stuff for half the price only a month later.
We may have come up with a solution though. There is a certain department store, who we shall not name at this stage, who offer a service where your guests make a contribution to a special account for you to spend in the store. Now this pretty much solves our problems, but we're a little bit uncertain. I mean, is it rude? We are just basically asking for money.
If someone buys you something off a list, they've something that they specifically have bought for you, and they can be offended if you don't use it when they come round. We've thought about arbitrarily selecting items that we buy and assigning them to people so we can send them a thank you note with a little picture of us brandishing our purchase.
Regardless, we've pretty much decided on this, but are we being crass and vulgar? Your thoughts please.
So hello I am stressed. I should have seen it coming but I was optimistic. Ha! What I fool am I?
I am hoping that downloading my to do list from my brain will make me feel a little better.
Now for me this is a lot. I understand many of you are far busier but this is busy enough for me!
1. Maintain a lovely blog
2. Write new article for another blog
3. Finish questions with full explanations for web editor
4. Finish/Start editing book for another editor
5. Write 6 chapters for another book
6. Start new job and do a (little light) background reading
7. Foster a cat (!!!)
8. Wedding invitations
9. Other general wedding stuff
10. Devise way of making general wedding stuff
11. Actually confirm suppliers
12. Sort through all possessions at parent's house and decide what should go into storage should they sell their house
13. Be a good person
14. Kiss Bean
15. Worry Bean is not sorting his man things out
16. Get mice out of flat, this may have something to do with 7
Wow, that actually does feel a little better. And breathe.
One of the benefits of marrying in the almost winter time* is the fabulous accessory excitement. Do not fret I am not going to cover myself in bling (not my style!). I know I want to wear a necklace or two although maybe not around neck (may be as a bracelet) and as I will probably wear my hair up I feel some serious danglies are important.
However, I am not one to restrict myself to one style but I find that most things I love to wear do work together rather well. Even if I do say so myself (get me all confident and such.) Also I fear you may have heard about my slightloveofaccessories in the past! (But do check the links to see more.)
I cannot wait to rock certain items of my wardrobe (you shall have to wait and see some of these I'm afraid) but I have been thinking about trying to recreate these Miu Miu gloves for the wedding. I already own a beautiful pair of vintage gloves but I am on the search for a fabulous ring. An uber fabulous cocktail ring at that. There are a few contenders but well, that would be telling.
What do you think? Well actually I sort of don't care (but in the nice way as in it is okay that we disagree and I yearn for more controversy) because I adore this idea despite not being entirely sure how I will rock it on the day. Maybe gloves for life after the wedding as I merrily skip through London town with all my worries gone.
So gosh I've sort of talked myself into a new gig.
This gig is being a sort of agony aunt for the readers of Rock n Roll Bride! Would love to hear what you think of my first post! (Feel free to tell Kat I am a genius etc!). Alternatively let me know if you have a question.
In other news posting may be a little thin on the ground this week and next. Scary deadlines and I am starting a new job next week (whoop).
However I am trying to tempt Bean into writing a few words. Although words such as blood and stone do immediately spring to mind.
So as a treat, here comes another anna photograph!
Oh to be 11 again!
T'was from an eye opening visit to the south of Poland with my grandparents.
Oh we went there. "We" totally Goccoed our save the dates.
Do you want to know a dirty little secret?
I enjoyed it!
It would be dull of me to rabbit on about the way to Gocco but there are far better tutorials online and I promise it is easier than certain people make it look! However, I spent an evening with the lovely Claire and we made a great hash of her trial invitations. I guess one needs to follow a few of her hints and have a good plan before going Gocco!
Thank you so much for all your help on Friday I really appreciate that you took the time to offer me your pearls of wisdom. I really found it useful. I hadn't even thought about buying an antique wedding ring. I assumed it would be far more difficult as they would be mostly melted down
I am not sure I believe in fate but sometimes life does hand you the lemonade rather than lemons. The parents were over because we wanted to try some wine. Sometimes my parents are fabulous, they picked us up, came to the wine merchant, bought the wine, drank a little and left us the rest. Heaven! (We are now having a week of wine tasting but are yet to find the ones!)
Anyhoo, I recalled my mother mentioned something about my Mamgu's (Welsh grandmamma) wedding ring and asked her to bring it with her. She also brought her wedding ring as she cannot wear it currently (another story for another day). Her ring is teeny tiny (but rather thick) and I do rather hope she will get to wear it again. However, my Mamgu's ring is a delicious platinum ring about 2mm in width but worn down from almost 50 years of wear. (She wore it between her engagement ring and her mother's engagement ring.) It has some sort of floral design engraved into it but it's quite abstract and hard to see. Most excitingly it has that beautiful old glow.
Now my mother asked my brother if he fancied it for future use and apparently he shrugged with a "meh." Yay for boys not thinking about the future for it now is sitting on my little finger, whilst typing this, waiting to be my wedding ring. I could not be happier. Yay for fate, fabulous relatives (although I do wish she could be there to see me wed, well actually I would just like her to know how much I've achieved and her to be proud of me) and general wonderfulness. I love it when a plan comes together!
As an aside Platinumsmiths of Great Britain, is it possible to resize a platinum ring? It is a little small, oh why did I inherit my father's man hands, so it may or may not require resizing.
In a new trend here on anna and the ring I want to interview the people who want to be part of your wedding. I want you to feel that these are the good guys in what can be a rather uninspiring minefield. In the first of these interviews I want to talk about Liv from the wonderful Blushless.
I have spoken in the past how much I adore Liv and her work. Meeting with her is like meeting a firecracker with ideas coming at you from all directions. She is the epitome of the talented artist. You just want to spend time with her with the hope some of her creativity will rub off on you. For me that is the type of woman you want to have designing your wedding dress. If I had known she was taking commissions just a week before she would be the lady making my dress. What else can I say. I love her! So over to Liv, I hope you enjoy.
First of all, Blushless is a fabulous brand name what do you regard as your "look"?
Blushless is about personality, edge, and being wild.
What is your inspiration?
Real strong women, life and real love stories. Old things, broken things and big Cities, everything that has a story to tell. Movies inspire me a lot especially the weird characters in David Lynch films.
How does inspiration come to you?
Its a gradual realisation. I start to collect things and images that seem inspiring at first without judging them.
Then usually this puzzle becomes a strong idea and shows the concept that is really reflecting what I am into at that time and then: Bang! It becomes very clear all of a sudden.
Who is your perfect muse?
Oh it changes a lot actually, because I am interested in personality so the muses could look very different as long as they seem like interesting cool woman that live an inspiring life. A lot of great women in my life as my best friends are muses as well. (anna - how empowering to know that real woman inspire design)
How does your custom process evolve?
Since I moved to London, Blushless now also works closer with Brides to be and does custom designs. It is a great experience to create a dress for a real person and matching it to her personal style. (anna - I think that is so important to feel like you on your wedding day and not just another girl in a white dress),
It takes a lot of extra time but its worth it for the bride in the end. They will always be Blushless style though, I would never do a dress that I don't like. And most brides that like Blushless will find a matching style in the collection. All U.K. Brides should feel free to get in touch with me!
What is your favourite part of the design process?
My favorite part is seeing the dresses "in action" for the first time, shortly after I finished them in the photoshoots or in a show. It's the moment where I feel rewarded for all the sleepless nights and getting this confident feeling of having something created.
How would describe your personal style?
I am a glamorous rock chick and have been since I was four years old. It's the only look I can really pull off.
I sometimes really try hard to wear something casual on a sunday for the park, but its just not me. I will always be a rock chick! I grew up in a punk rock night club own by my father and had to go to rock festivals as a little girl. Also my hair only works if its messy so I don't really have a choice.
What does fashion mean to you and how does that translate into your business?
I am not a person that is crazy about shopping or reading fashion magazines, for me fashion is more
about creation. It's a way to communicate my ideas, I can't sing or paint so fashion is my way to express my ideas and visions.
It translates into my business as I work really conceptional and there will always be a strong vision behind every single Blushless dress. That is also the difference about a designer piece that really has a story to it or a high street rip off that most of time doesn't really reflect the idea or the soul of the style.
Why did you decide to design wedding dresses?
I love designing wedding dresses, because I know they will be worn with pride and consciousness on a very special day. It feels like it's worth it to put all the effort in a single piece and it also gives me more freedom as a designer than I would have in creating daywear. I drape my dresses and work them as sculptures and I love this process of creating extraordinary shapes.
I also strongly believe in marriage even or maybe because its such a crazy thing to do. If you take this commitment seriously its for sure the wildest craziest idea ever. Its a choice for life. Its brave, and its a beautiful idea. I love weddings of cool couples and this whole idea is the engine that really keeps me doing my business.
Here featured in Elle.
Do you feel you follow trends or make trends?
Oh I really hope I am not following trends, because then I would be wrong in my job.
What do you think will be new in 2011?
Oh since everything became new for me 2010 I hope there won't be too many new things in 2011 ; )
I see a lot of transformation, flexibility and the new idea of science fiction. Colours will be more matte than shiny and the mixing and matching different epochs and styles will become even more relevant.
Finally, what is new for Liv? Will there be a new collection soon?
Everything is new for me:
New City, new love, new people, new inspirations. I am so happy about the decision to come to London. Since I have been here things keep falling in place and this is an amazing place to be.
New collection: There will be!
Due to the relocation of my business and the big move I worked more with individual brides and took a step back from the fashion industry and the strict calendar for this season. It has been a great experience and gave more flexibility which was needed to settle in London.
Currently I am working on new collection that includes a lot of transformable styles. All the input and fantastic inspiration I got from the move and my new London life will translate in it.
It will probably need another season to be back to fashion week schedule but a small collection of stunning brand new styles should launch soon.
All photography is courtesy of Blushless.
Gosh, Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my hopefully slightly thought provoking questions. I think it really makes all the difference when choosing who you want to work with. How about you? Do you think a closer relationship with your vendor helps or hinders?
If you do want to contact Liv her contact details can be found on her website Blushless.com.
So I am going to describe a somewhat non hypothetical scenario. Your thoughts, as always, are required!
I love my ladies and yes if I had hours and hours to spend I would trawl the internet and beautiful shops to find three perfectly mismatched dresses which they would all love. However I do not. Also they are understandably a little interested in what they are wearing and I want them to look and feel hot.
With less than 4 months to go (it is not as long as I first thought with so many weekends busy already) I am restless and just want to sort things out. I have decided to up my budget for their dresses so I can find something a little fabulous. They are more than willing to help me find said dresses, indeed we are going shopping this weekend, but
However if I up my budget and buy them wonderful dresses can I ask for them back after the wedding to keep or maybe sell on? Or this a super faux pas?
Also whilst I think we may ultimately end up wearing black dresses I do adore the silver dress look below (particularly the first on the left) and wish I could recreate such an effortless look with ease. I know I've asked before but does anyone know a place to find beautiful yet not uber pricey dresses?
I am sorry butI have no idea where I found the above photographs.
I do love these next three dresses all from ASOS.com. A little sexy, beautiful and hopefully a little apt for flirtation (well probably not the one with a newborn but if she wants..)
Do you think they could work together with pretty pink anemones as flowers?
I need that special phrase that convinces people that I am right. Well apart from "I'm the bride and do what I say!" I really do not want to ever utter those words.
A few weeks ago I read this post on A Practical Wedding. Whilst the post itself is interesting the comments are what piqued my interest. I have wanted to write a post ever since but haven't quite been able to explain myself. That was until I skipped through my drafts (all 195 of them, crumbs I think I have a lot to say but don't quite get around to saying it) and found what I think to be a good starting point.
The line between a secular and religious wedding ceremony* in England and Wales is defined by law. That is a registry office or a ceremony presided over by a registrar is allowed to have no religious element, from the words to the music. So it is rather different from the US and even Scotland. In the US seemingly you are able to integrate different parts a religious ceremony into your day. Now at first glance I can see why this is a good idea. Surely, to be able to include certain aspects which interest and excite you is what life is all about? Yet cherry picking in this way, even to an outsider like me, almost certainly devalues what is meant by these core tenets of religion. Yes the Chuppah is a beautiful aspect of a Jewish wedding but to use for aesthetic reasons and call it a Chuppah surely negates these features and is essentially a gazebo? (I in no way mean to denigrate what a Chuppah means to a Jew). Why call it a Chuppah if you are not Jewish? It completely baffles me. I know even less about the customs which surround other religious weddings so I shall not even attempt to comment!
I agree that Christians cherry picked the best pagan traditions to allow followers to grow accustomed to the way of God (as you may have guessed I am not religious although not preachy with it. I just don't happen to have faith. If you do, that it your prerogative and I do not fear you!) I think I have made clear my thoughts on those who choose to marry in church just for the aesthetics or even because they think it means more. To marry because it is pretty belies the entire point of marrying in church. Indeed I shall not be any less married. If there is a god, he/she/it will know I have married and been "good" and at "Judgement Day" I would hope an all knowing and all forgiving God would understand my scepticism and still acknowledge my contribution to the world. Gosh we are getting a little to deep and off the point here!
Perhaps as an outsider I can see more clearly? It seems that it is perfectly acceptable to cannibalise different religions and customs. I am not saying one should blindly accept anachronisms (if they are indeed true anachronisms) of religion but if you are to believe in the good you have to believe in the bad. Or perhaps more interesting if you believe in evil, one must also believe in a god? To pick and choose a wedding ceremony seems sacrilegious and at odds with what you want to do. I am sure many would be offended by your actions and whilst this is true of many situations, to offend someone, indeed one who has no religious beliefs, with your actions is surely indicative of a certain level of disregard.
Now this would make feel like a queen on my wedding day. I mean how entirely fabulous, I simply adore the pomposity of the headpiece. Yet I am most certainly not a Cameroonian King and thus it would be complteely inappropriate on my head. Whilst I have to admit I do bang on about my Welsh and Polish heritage (Welsh is helpful for rugby supporting and Polish, well, I am proud of how my Grandfather acted during the war, he was a great, grumpy man!) I think that I am still in close enough touch with my roots to acknowledge my heritage. However I shall be unlikely to engage in any country specific rituals during the wedding because I am British, well English and that is who I am. To continue to perpetuate a tenuous link with one's past when one is looking to the future appears to be conflicted. I digress.
What do I want to say? I guess you have to take the good with the bad. To marry in church you shouldn't grumble and moan about attending once a week. If you want a Jewish wedding ceremony, learn about the religion and think why this particular service enthrals you so? If you are not born in Ireland, you aren't really Irish. I though I would add that just in case I am yet to offend you. Please just take your celebratory cues from your current life and values and not what you think you should or are expected to do.
*I almost wrote marriage but if you do believe in an all powerful god (purposely lowercase g) surely even at a secular ceremony he/she would be present? Furthermore would god not be with you everyday in your life and marriage? I admit to my limited knowledge of Christinity and very limited knowledge of other religions so I do not know if this is the same with respect to Islam, Sikhism, Judaism, Buddism, Baha'i or Zoroastrianism (please do enlighten me - I would be a very interested wedding observer/participant!)
Bean and I ventured out into the world together a few of days ago in search of wedding rings. A rather exciting prospect I think you would agree.
We skipped along to Hatton Garden, there was probably some actual skipping despite the heat. One does tend to get rather giddy when super excited about certain wedding/marriage prospects!
So we may have visited the wonderful RUST and met with the even more wonderful Artemis to look at the prettiness in her showroom. However her fabulous designs are too intricate for what I need. Grrrr. Maybe one day, hintery hints bean!
Not that they were on offer from the wonderful RUST but I really cannot stand cut out wedding rings. For me, the wedding ring is the only ring a lady needs* to wear. The rest is superfluous. Delicious but superfluous. However, I think I am set upon what I want. Maybe.
Just in case you are yet to twig, this is my fantabulous engagement ring. I guess I don't really need an excuse to post this picture seeing as she is my muse, as much as a ring can be! So yes, a cut out ring may work in theory but it just does not look right. It fact despite my dislike of all things symmetrical I think that may be the problem with the cut out. It looks incomplete, almost as if your marriage is yet to be made legal? Yes, a little harsh but I really do not like them. I am I not sorry.
We tried on many different styles and I think I am set on platinum. Although I have fallen in love with gold over the past year, I wash my hands (a lot!) and I am quite clumsy when wearing rings and tend to ram my fingers into nooks and crannies without thinking so I think I need a stronger metal than gold. I love the court style. Yes there are more fashionable cuts but it feels deliciously comfortable and most importantly feels that it won't get caught every time I put gloves on. I think I will go with a natural finish which will hopefully dull to a pretty glow with time. The final consideration was width. I always assumed I would want a thick ring but since wearing a rather thin banded engagement ring I have fallen in love with pretty little bands and I think anything thicker than 2mm looks rather strange (and like my mother's wedding ring!) and cumbersome on me.
So a platinum 2mm plain court ring is my want. (Bean thinks he will go for a palladium 5 or 6mm court too. He has spider fingers so very thick rings look weird on him too!) Thus ladies and hopefully a few gentlemen, where should I go to buy such a classic beauty? I need your hints and tips for fabulously helpful and talented (and not too expensive) platinum smiths, whether they be in London or further afield. We want to do something exciting with the engraving so imaginative designers are most welcome to contact me! I await your cleverness!
*If she/he needs to wear one at all. I want to wear one, not because it shows I am "taken" (bleurgh!) but because it is a constant. A constant which can remind me of the day I made my vows. Like c, it changes under certain conditions but will always be constant in our little bubble/vacuum. Gosh who knew I could intertwine a little physics into your day!
Hmm, now the monday bag is perfection however this passed into my consciousness a while ago. Is is uber tacky (I agree it is uber overpriced!) or uber fabulous? Usually when I have this problem the item in question is uber ugly although I shall leave the floor open to you to decide. What do you think? Uggers or Fabbers?
Now I am the oldest of all my cousins and so there is no luck in finding a flower girl from my side of the family. The delicious Bean's family are producers of handsome boys. Indeed I may have heard whispers of "unto each generation a girl is born. One girl in all the Bean world, a Chosen One." (I may gave misquoted!) So whilst there are some very handsome little boy things I fear my day will be without a gorgeous girl. Unless any of you fancy lending me a sister or daughter for the day? I can promise that my soon to be mother would love to look after her!
Why my sadness? I believe it is summed up by the following pictures. Take a deep breath. There is about to be some swooning!
This girl has serious attitude but that skirt says it all!
Oh silhouettes are just wonderful but in sequins? Perfection!
The grey tank with the prettiest and shiny of skirts. Heaven!
Is there a little girl who does not smile at the sound of, "Once upon a time"?
I mean, gosh! Thank you so ES+ES for bringing such wonderful prettiness into my life. These are clothes worthy of cherishing for years to come. Oh to have such stylist little girls at the wedding or generally dancing along the streets of London!
Now I have often wondered the point of carrying a bag on your wedding day. Yes one may need access to certain essentials such as lipstick or tissues and for me mattifying powder (as an aside could anyone tell me something which will take away my uber glow, save botox?) However I have always assumed that I could just leave such items lying around for me to pick up when needed.
Yet it was not until today that knew I really needed a bag! It need not hold anything but oh my this is the one. Oh how you should live in my hands. Now the word perfection is bandied about far too often for my liking but darling clutch I simply adore you.
Gosh, so, well, umm. I sort of won the sweepstake.
Now this is rather embarrassing. If someone else had won I would have insisted we all send our little prizes to the winner. However, seeing as it was me (and I had the fortune to be left Spain) I couldn't possibly ask for you all to send me your wondrous gifts to me. That would be seriously poor form.
So instead I propose we forget the world cup ever happened. Although it has made me realise how much I do enjoy the man sports when there is an element of gambling. So what shall we bet upon next? Ooo the possibilities.
Thank you all for joining in, the twitter banter has been wonderful! Next time maybe I shan't take part!?
Good evening all. Today marks a rather exciting day in the continuing evolution of anna and the ring. I have decided to start featuring real weddings. I hope to enthral you with pictures from fabulous photographers close to home and some a little farther away. So if you are an established or even a budding wedding photographer I would love to hear from you. If you are a bride or groom who would like to have their wedding published please do the same.
However today I just want to whet your appetite with a beautiful series of photographs taken by the wonderful Christian Keenan truly a most talented wedding photographer.
Now I may not be having the most formal wedding but I can always see the attraction of an older gentleman dressing up to the nines. There is something so handsome and slightly cad like about a man wearing a top hat. Young men simply cannot embrace the attitude that one must have to carry off such attire. Obviously this gentleman has exactly the right attitude.
It appears the father of the bride has a secret to make this wedding day magical. What can it be?
I have no idea but he certainly knows how to put on a show!
And this why a little chaos in your day will yield the most memories.
"The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual."
I just read a story from the far more appropriate publication the Tory sorry Telegraph about a couple who were set on having the bells of their chosen church ring on their wedding day. However when speaking to the vicar they found they had not pealed for years. So they set about travelling 340 mile round trip to Wales from London to clean and restore said bells. I find this story so sweet that I am prepared to look over the fact they would not feel their day complete without bells. Indeed I think it is more than sweet, admirable and a beautiful gesture to the village in which they will be wed. A gesture which will hopefully be appreciated by many others in the future. (Assuming people enjoy the sound of the bells, I cannot say I am a campanologist and do not particular enjoy the attempts of our local church's team but that is a completely different issue!)
The piece really made me think what I am doing for the community in which I am to be married. Yes I am paying money to be wed in a certain place and it will mostly (if not entirely) take place indoors away from "the locals" but should I be contributing something to the community?
Most of my suppliers are local (ish) and relatively small so we are helping the economy slightly but how does one actually contribute to a community in which they do not live? Without living there how do I know where I could really help? Indeed do I need to thank the community for allowing to be wed in their tiny village? Am I thinking of myself so highly that I do need to thank them?
I have done the usual thing of contacting a hospice hoping to donate flowers after the day. What else can I offer. Time is precious and a round trip could take over 12 hours by car. Beyond offering leftover food to the local homeless shelter or somewhere equivalent what can I do?
Is my apathy a sign that I need to get involved? Or is it correctly placed in the fact I am paying for a service and that is all I need? Would it be any different if I were to be married in London? Apart from the ideas I have already suggested I fear I would show even less interest.*
What do you think? Are you contributing in a special way to the place in which you will be married? Or is bringing your business to a certain locale enough?
Please don't think less of me but I happened to come across this article in the daily mail. For those who know not of this "fine" publication it is written by less than open minded commentators for less that open minded readers.
According to Dr Pam Spurr those who "do not get him up the aisle after three years could well be doomed" (I paraphrase). Let's put aside the problem I have with "get him up the aisle" for the moment.
Three years? In fact 18 months would be better. Apparently. Bean and I are marrying on our 10th anniversary. Whilst you may think me naive, I honestly think I will be with him until the end of my days. There is nothing more exhilarating for me knowing I am part of his life, hopefully forever. Of course I am not against those who do marry within in the "golden window of opportunity" but rushing into marriage seems rather more foolhardy to me.
I understand this article may have been written for the more mature audience but looking at friends of my age and educational background have had other things to do than get married. Indeed whilst others may have felt ready I was definitely not ready to be a wife even 5 years ago and I know this to be the case for most of my friends. This article fails to appreciate the difference in the generational divide. Woman are going to university and are delaying other ambitions (may that be marriage or travelling the world) to build a career. Weddings are important but only as a means to an end. I will have lived with Bean for longer than 3 years when we wed and enjoyed this time as free to pursue my desires. (It shall be no different when we marry but it was far easier to travel across the world to the middle of nowhere!)
My aunt recently married her man friend of 25 years. Why does their commitment over the past quarter of a century mean nothing? Is marriage the be all and end all? Does co-habiting allow for dishonesty or infidelity? Whilst I want to think marriage is best, I would not think those in a long committed relationship are any different from me and my boy. Indeed, when divorce is relatively easy is there a difference?
She then delved into specific points which I would like to address individually.
1. You are his Mrs Right Now, not his Mrs Right
I see not how this is any different from the way woman view relationships. Yes you can attempt to plan the future but ultimately you know not what is around the corner. As a young woman Bean was my Mr Right Now who became my Mr Right. For me I fell in love with him as a friend (with benefits) and then became ridiculously giddy with real passionate love. Love takes time.
2. The Insecurity Issue
The writer explains that men are fearful of commitment due to their emotional and physical baggage. Well we all have such problems and of course marriage is not going to solve said issues but having someone to share in your troubles does help.
3. Satisfaction guaranteed?
I have no idea what she is babbling on about here? Yes we want things to be perfect (well actually some of us don't) but how can you ensure that marriage will be the right decision? You can't. It's impossible. You can think it is the right decision but you will never know until you try. People want children in and out of matrimony. Marriage changes nothing. I do not see of what there is to be frightened.
4. They're past IT
Whatever it is? I was under the impression that men matured into deliciousness as they age? I don't think you're ever too old to fall in love. In fact I agree love does not equal marriage but it can be about compromise.
5. Wanting to stay a big Kid
Well what can I say. Boys will be boys but seriously. Why does marriage stop you from being childlike? Yes you may accrue more responsibility but why loose you youthful exuberance (well I never had that but I imagine some of you might!).
I just don't think these issues affect just men. I think we all go through a similar thought process when embarking upon a long term relationship. I despise the rampant sexism and misandry which pervades our media forcing us to think that men are there to be cajoled and tamed.
Bean and I have spent a long time thinking about our wedding and marriage. I am enjoying being his girl and I am so excited about being his wife. Yet I am not dragging him up the aisle. It is a joint decision made because we fell in love and found that knew that our lives were to be forever intertwined. I knew I wanted to marry and Bean knew this although I was acutely aware that he wanted to marry and have children.
However why do we always have to be heading somewhere? Some of us are not destined for marriage and that is okay. Surely the journey of love is its own reward?
Oh crumbs, I am all over the place. I am not sure I have made my point very well. I just want to say to all of you out there who are not married or even thinking about marriage after 3 year you are not a weird subset of the community. Marriage is about two people who want to get married. Whether this never happens or takes 50 years, it matters not. What matters is that you are happy.
What do you think? Should I be worried that we were not married after three years? Are you?
Well this weekend has been exciting. I have to admit Spain left it a little late and those penalties all in a space of 5 minutes. Oy vey. Too much for my poor throat. I never thought I would get so excited about football. Oh and wasn't Ghana's defeat heartbreaking?
Here are the standings now! Are you still in the running?
We have Marie, Bels, Rebecca, and (embarrassingly) me! I hope the rest of you are thinking of a cute little prize to send to the winner!
Spare Thoughts Ivory Coast
Always Andri Cameroon
Peacock Feathers Nigeria
Lou @WWW England
Emma @Electric W Chile
a girl Paraguay
Gaynor South Africa
Well this weekend has been exciting. I have to admit Spain left it a little late and those penalties all in a space of less than 5 minutes. Too much for my poor throat. I never thought I would get so excited about football. Oh and wasn't Ghana's defeat heartbreaking?
We now only have Netherlands vs Uruguay and Germany vs Spain! Crikey!
Who is your pick for the top spot? Germany have been on top form. Obviously I am routing for Spain! Hopefully it shall be a thrilling match on Wednesday!