Oh ladies. I'm so overwhelmed by all your kind words. Thank you.
The thing is your comments would be super helpful if my father was a normie. A little more family background I guess.
I love him but he is a strange man. I certainly won't take away from the fact that he has given some of my best qualities. I am stubborn, funny and have a zest for knowledge because of him. He is an introvert like me and maybe that makes things more difficult. My family is quite the Victorian family. The total opposite to the Bean Clan (one of the reasons I love him so). We don't talk about feelings, children are seen but not heard and whilst we laugh and joke with each other, Mother certainly knows best.
So you see it is quite difficult. Hmm quite difficult Anna? Well maybe I should just suck it up and talk to him. I think I'll wait until they get from their holiday in a couple of weeks. Hopefully the mother will have chance to talk about things and maybe uncover the real reason for his feelings. Although she is not one for subtlety!
Obviously I want him there, mother and I did not get along well as a teenager, and he was always the arbiter between us. (Oh mother nature in your infinite wisdom was it really the best idea to have mothers reach menopause as their daughters are full of hormones?!) Yet I wouldn't force him to come against his will. His stubborn streak and a propensity to booze can lead to awful outbursts (cringe worthy but rather amusing at the same time) not great for a speech giver!
The little voice in the back of my head has a cruel idea. My father thinks a wedding is a ridiculous extravagance. To some extent I do agree but I fear he doesn't understand the type of wedding I (sorry we!) want. However I think him smoking is a ridiculous extravagance. He thinks he is a secret smoker! So I am sorely tempted to talk to him and say "if you give up smoking I would be willing to give up the hoopla."* Obviously by the word hoopla he thinks the typical traditional white wedding so I don't think I would necessarily have to give up all my ideas? Devious, no!? It's almost as if I were a machine!
Maybe not. I can speak to anyone about anything. That's part of my job yet I can't speak to my parents. Does anyone have any tips to get through to a thoroughly unmodern stubborn mickey? I DO NOT WANT A HOOPLA, I WANT A HAPPY FUN FILLED WEDDING! Grr men!
*Even as a doctor I do not try and stop people smoking for if they are old enough to smoke they are old enough to weigh up the pros and cons.