Let me preface this by saying, again, apologies for the length, it just seems that when I start to write I cannot stop!
Now we have probably dequandaried about whether to have a hoopla or hooplow. The boy wants hoopla and I am almost certain I want that too. Although hoopla is definitely the wrong word. My thrifty little angel wants to celebrate with his nearest and dearest but is no entirely sure how.
Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we are both the exact opposites when it comes to decision making. I am a sniper when choosing anything. I simply cannot bear to traipse around shops all day, although I am somewhat partial to surfing for hours on end (no slow moving people or crowds). If I find something I want, I know that if I do not buy the shoes, book, picture, at that exact moment it is very unlikely that I will ever actually buy it. I am a magpie; I am drawn to something now! I do understand I that this is not necessarily the best state of mind to shop or decide in!
However, I can lust after items for months, for example this ostrich feather duster, and once I have bought said item I move on very quickly to a new object of my affection. I most often lust over more expensive things and this whole wedding situation is not helping my covetousness.
Conversely, the boy is all about the long game. He loves to shop. He loves to make spreadsheets of his wantings, he loves to wander (in my opinion aimlessly) to shop after shop trying to find the perfect new “outfit” (ah my lovely dandy). Ultimately, he often purchases the first thing he sees. I literally could not cope with this state of affairs. So unless I’m feeling particularly poor and hankering after something we do not go shopping with each other if we actually need something. Please don’t get me wrong I love wandering our lovely streets and shops with my boy but not if either of us needs something specific!
So the next quandary is London or Northumberland or somewhere else?
I hail from London and have lived here all my life. I may be one of those intolerable people who would never want to leave London (although I have experienced small town life when working on a small island in the Pacific where everyone knows, everyone’s business and that was fun too). The boy is from north north Northumberland.
To me it seems a little strange to marry somewhere which holds no family or other special connections. Although I can see that it could be a place where new memories will be made but still, I like the idea of venue already meaning something.
However do I mean the place or the venue itself? Indeed London is as diverse place as you can get. Northumberland a vast wilderness. London means a great deal to me, I was born, bred, educated and met the love of my life here. There are places which certainly mean more to me – South East London was where I grew up, West London was where I completed my undergraduate education and where I currently work. I met my true love in whilst living in Notting Hill Gate (the salubrious name belies our seriously insalubrious hall of residence!)
Northumberland is where my boy spent his formative years. It is a truly beautiful place. The boy once said to me whilst we were still “courting” as we snuggled one cold April afternoon on a pristine beach that he wished the sun set in the east so we could watch it fall below the horizon – how sweet. Oh even after almost 9 years he still makes my heart melt. It has some beautiful estates and castles which would be perfect for a weekend of fun and frivolity.
So either London or Northumberland (and with this we include the general Newcastle/Durham area) would be fitting because both places mean so much to both of us. However, there is nowhere in particular which we hold as important to us as a couple. We are both somewhat private people and important events (like “the proposal”) have taken place in private.
Putting aside our hearts for a second, logistically it would be simpler to host our wedding in one of the two “homes.” Indeed I have scouted many locations and found so many lacking, particular in London. Is this because deep down I know what I want? Certainly a London wedding would be hugely different from what would be possible in Northumberland and I love the possibilities which this itself presents.
I do think I already know what I want – I think I just need to convince the boy. Unfortunately this will require an ever more detailed spreadsheet and reconnaissance.
So what to do, how do we choose? Am I over analysing? Help!